Before Jesus Changed My Life
Before Jesus changed my life, I was confident that good people who believed in God went to heaven. I chased achievements and recognition as proof of my "good"ness. I eagerly sought praise, glory, and wonder that rightly belonged to God. My parents were fairly private about their beliefs, and while we identified as Christians, it was not a Biblical faith as much as another item on my list of accolades.
How Jesus Changed My Life
Jesus changed my life over the course of several years. I distinctly remember choosing to follow Jesus at a fall retreat at a Bible Camp in seventh grade. We'd spent an evening of worship in a chapel session and heard a story about a 20th-century martyr that really resonated—I remember telling God that I was choosing to follow Him, but I would need help having faith that would make me willing to suffer for Christ. I'm not sure I fully understood the gospel then, but God was faithful to place people in my life who modeled Biblical Christianity and loved me well. My sin pattern of pride and idolatry (of self-importance, the approval of others, and achievement) continued in spite of this decision, however, and it wasn't until my sophomore year of college that my desperate need for Jesus was revealed. A Bible study I was reluctant to join, except for keeping up with appearances, led to some vulnerable moments. When others shared their testimonies, I finally understood that I would never be "good enough" to be saved, that I wasn't good at all apart from Christ, and that Jesus alone was the way to salvation. I began reading the Bible daily the following summer. My relationship with Christ has grown to be sweet ever since because the glory I had previously sought was actually meant for Him—the old had passed away and the new had come (2 Corinthians 5:17).
My Life After Jesus Saved Me
The immediate effects of understanding grace in college were life and career-shifting. I'd intended to go as far as I could with a music performance degree and become an expert in my field to make a name for myself, but my goals changed to make much of God with the gifts He’d given, and my interests moved toward service.
After college and while teaching, I experienced a longer season of singleness and childlessness than I had hoped for, and my faith was stretched and grown to the point where chronic disappointment was replaced by a sweet contentment and confidence that the life God had called me to was good and full of God-given community and discipleship opportunities.
In my present season of marriage and motherhood, God has been kind in His encouragement through Scripture, in prayer, our Veritas family, and in His provision of grace upon grace as we have grown as a family. We have also experienced trials, perhaps most notably the loss of two babies, and His obvious goodness has been evident, humbling, and beautiful to behold. Grief in light of eternity with Jesus is hopeful, blissfully temporary for the believer, and has opened doors for me to experience God's care and comfort intimately.
I can share the gospel with confidence because all I have done is receive grace, and it's available to all who do. I fall short daily, even hourly, and need to repent often, but I'm able to rest in the assurance that my salvation is permanently sealed, my inheritance is imperishable, undefiled, unfading, and kept in heaven for me (1 Peter 1:4a) because of the saving work of Jesus on the cross and our Father's generous, unending love for His created and loved people.