I’m thankful to have a good relationship with my dad. Since he lives a couple hours away, we have regular phone calls and FaceTimes. And maybe you’ve experienced this as well, but when you FaceTime someone, if there’s talking happening on your end in the background, sometimes it starts muting the person on the other line (if you know a way around this, please let me know!). And with four kids running around pretty much non-stop, multiple times in a conversation I’ll have absolutely no idea what my dad is saying because I have a two-year-old being loud in the background. It makes having a conversation with my dad hard.
Do you ever feel like that with your prayers? That it almost feels like there’s something blocking your prayers from even getting to the ear of God? As much as I’d like to tell you that’s not possible ––maybe it is.
Now, don’t mistake what I’m saying: God hears all prayers. There’s nothing that happens that He is unaware of––your whispered prayers included. But just because He hears them doesn’t mean he honors them. And what if there are things you are doing (or not doing) that are keeping your prayers from having power? I spent a lot of time in 1 Peter a couple months ago, and I was struck by what I saw about how we can negatively affect our prayer life. In 1 Peter, we are shown the reality that there are things we can do that can hinder, clog, and render our prayers to God powerless.
Your thoughts and actions can hinder your prayers
1 Peter 4:7 says, “The end of all things is at hand; therefore be self-controlled and sober-minded for the sake of your prayers.” Here, Peter gives us two things that we need to do for the sake of our prayers which means there’s two things we can fail to do to hinder our prayers. The first is to be self-controlled. In saying this, Peter is also saying that to live a life that is not self-controlled is to live a life that hinders our prayers. Do you want to get really specific? The way you don’t control your anger when your kids are annoying you is hindering your prayers. The way you can’t control yourself around the buffet is hindering your prayers. Your uncontrolled lack of filter with your talk is hindering your prayers. Peter tells us that your prayers can be hindered by a lack of self-control.
The second thing we see in this verse is that we need to be sober-minded for the sake of our prayers. To be sober-minded means to keep your mind free of intoxicating influences. Here is how Paul David Tripp describes it in his series The Gospel: One Letter At A Time:
Sober-mindedness, according to Peter, means living with a single-minded focus. What is that focus? “Being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” It means this; sober-mindedness is living with eternity in view.
Being sober-minded means that we are thinking about the hope we have in Christ and not letting the intoxicating thoughts of this world infiltrate our mind and decision-making. And here’s where your prayers come in—if your mind is consumed with this world and more heavily influenced by the patterns of this world as opposed to eternity and the hope we have in Christ, what will your prayers be like? They will be me-focused, inward-facing, to-my-own-glory prayers—that is, if you even find need to pray at all. And those prayers are not pleasing to God and are not honored by God.
Your sober-mindedness and self-control are vital to a vibrant, powerful prayer life.
Your sin can hinder your prayers
Look at Peter’s direction:
Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. (1 Peter 3:8-9)
Peter gives instructions for them on how they ought to act. And then he gives reasoning for it in the next few verses:
“Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.” (1 Peter 3:10-12)
The reason Peter gives for walking in a certain manner is that God sees the righteous and hears the prayers of the righteous. But his face is against those who practice wickedness. Here’s what that means: practicing sin can hinder the prayers you pray. So if you’re feeling like your prayers are lacking or not being heard, consider: Is there sin in your life that you are giving yourself over to, not confessing, and not turning from?
Your obedience to God has an impact on your prayers to God.
Bonus consideration for the husbands: How you treat your wife can impact your prayers
In the verse immediately preceding what we just read, Peter says this: “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered” (1 Peter 3:7).
Husbands, you are called to live in understandable ways with your wife and to honor her. And when you don’t, you are impeding your own prayers. It’s such a big deal to God that husbands rightly image his love for his church in the way they love their wives that when we fail to do so and don’t walk in repentance of it, our prayers will be hindered. Husbands, if you’re feeling like your prayers are losing their power, maybe you need to consider how you’re doing at honoring, loving, and living with your wife.
Here’s ultimately what this comes down to: our obedience to God greatly affects our fellowship with God. This isn’t supposed to leave us feeling overwhelmed with shame over the ways we’ve failed. Rather, this should motivate us all the more to walk in obedience to the commands of God! Because walking in obedience isn’t primarily about duty, it’s about fellowship. So may we desire fellowship with God and have prayers that are pleasing to God. And that comes as we walk in obedience to God.